August 2018 (California)
I've accumulated many things over the years. For the next while, it comes down to this:
60 liter backpack
70 meter rope
A single rack of cams + set of nuts + nut tool
17 quickdraws + 10 alpine draws
Climbing shoes + chalk bag + harness + helmet
Daisy chain + Grigri + ATC
A few extra biners + headlamp + water bag
Sleeping bag + liner + pillow + pad + bivy
Small casual backpack
1 rain jacket + 1 down jacket + 1 fleece + 1 light jacket
2 dresses + 4 bottoms + 4 tops + 1 cardigan + some underwear, socks, etc.
1 pair sneakers + 1 pair sandals
Toiletries + notebook + pens + wallet + passport + cellphone + battery + headphones
All together it weighs just under 50 lbs.
I'm really excited for the next chapter of this adventure.
I think it'll be good.
It's a strange but satisfying thing to have everything you own packed anyway in neat little plastic tubs.
After endless donations and dumping, I'm down to just 13 boxes, a fire staff and a banjo.
3 boxes of books (I had to make a rule to only buy my favorites and otherwise borrow them from the library)
2 boxes of sentimental items (including 4 years of university math notes because really, I poured way too many sleepless nights and tears into these notes to ever give them up)
3 boxes of climbing/camping gear (ice climbing stuff takes up a lot of space as do sleeping bags...)
5 boxes of clothes (including a blanket)
This and the stuff in the first picture are what comprises this life of 29 years.
It's not particularly impressive but I hope that my life and meaning and impact will be measured in other ways, that the value of what I do and what I am will come through to people even if I have little to show for it.
I cried a lot when I first moved back to the States four years ago.
I fell in so deep with the climbing dirtbag lifestyle. For two years (my last year in Korea and the following year I spent climbing in Asia), the only people I hung out with were climbers and the only thing we talked about was climbing and the only thing we did was climb.
We were so passionate about it.
I was so passionate about it.
I trained and dieted and saved up money endlessly. Everything so I could climb more.
In the three months before I went on the climbing trip in Asia, I worked a full 60 hour/week job, an additional 15 hour/week part time job and had two additional private English classes I have for another 4 hours/week. And none of this includes the commute time in between jobs. I was so sleep deprived, sometimes my breath would get caught in my lungs and I'd have to sit down.
All so I could save up enough money to travel and climb.
And then I came back to America.
I got a regular 8-5 job in San Francisco. The sky was so blue outside the office window but all I could do was stare at my computer screen.
I couldn't understand. It felt as if someone had turned the 4k video of my life into a 140 pixel display. It was just so unclear and honestly not even worth watching.
Why did we spend so much of our day suffocating just so that we could spend the evening gasping for air?
Could we call this living?
It took a year and a job change before I finally settled into life.
Of course, it was never San Francisco's fault that I felt so frustrated. It was only ever mine.
There is much to appreciate in each person's life and choices and in their unique struggles and successes. We do our best to live our best lives. Sometimes we plan poorly or choose incorrectly, but the intention is there- to do right by ourselves.
I also realize now that I was suffocating myself. I had every option to live the life I wanted and to enjoy things as they were, but I chose not to. I chose to act below myself, to limit myself and to make myself a victim of the city.
I've since learned and loved and enjoyed a lot of things in the Bay. Especially as friends have gotten older and as surprises, good and bad, have come up, I'm really grateful to be where I am in life.
(Sometimes I imagine the Me's from all the alternate dimensions, and oh boy there are a ton of terrible ways I end up dying/ruined.)
After I left the Bay, I spent two weeks at my parent's place, organizing my things for storage in various closets and just hanging out with my family.
I'm really lucky. There's the stereotype of strict Asian parents, which holds true for quite a few of my friends. My parents were more strict when I was younger, but I honestly think they kinda just gave up on me. Why fight the things that will be?
So when they found out I'd quit my job and was planning to travel for several months, they didn't really bat any eyelashes. They just told me to stay safe and come back quickly to get a job and get married.
Anyway my dad prepared a spring roll dinner for us. You'll notice he prepped three types of meat and only lettuce for veggies... He was very hurt when I told him he has to cook more veggies.
Also the person who invented the standing plastic container for dipping the rice flour wraps in hot water is a genius. This is a serious game changer in the spring roll game.
Sister often likes to bake so we made fluffy Japanese style pancakes one day. Turned out really well! Yoooommmmm.
Sister also makes really good butter mochi.
My last weeks in SF, I tried to spend a lot of time with friends. In the past few years, my values have changed a bit so I'm trying my best to create good moments with others.
I like food a lot but I almost never eat in restaurants or get take out by myself. It's an exclusively social activity for me. So luckily this was a really good opportunity for me to eat lots of delicious things with good people.
Also my friends got engaged! Ahhh time is really going, isn't it? it's so exciting!
My friend made a second ring out of a plastic straw wrapper.
Pretty good.
So Far Sounds is a really cool organization where volunteers host small, intimate musical performances featuring local talents. Each show is usually comprised of a few artists and the line up is always a secret, so you end up getting to listen to quite a variety of musical genres, especially ones you'd never discover on your own.
This was my second show I'd gone to and I absolutely loved it! I was really blown away by everyone's talent and passion. Even if some artists were not my preferred style, I really appreciated them and enjoyed their music.
A friend of mine is a freelance data viz genius and she shares this space with other tech creatives. Such a cute office and so inspiring to be surrounded by so much dedication and skill and magic! The mural was painted by one of the people who works here.
I biked to Napa for a friend's wedding.
It was a really nice day out.
There were goats.
Lots of them.
Goats are soooooo cute.
It was really nice, anyway.
One last fancy, bougie weekend of wineries and parties and friends before adventures in Asia.
Partially bougie anyway.
