Untitled 20
I don't know how many rideshares I've taken over the past 3 years, but it's a lot. At least 20, probably closer to 30.
The process for ridesharing is simple. You go onto Craigslist, go to the Rideshare page, and then post if you need/are offering a ride, telling people where you're starting and where you're going and on what day. Someone contacts you and the two of you settle details of dates/ location/ time/ pricing /etc.
There are various reasons for why I do this, despite it going against all the rules I've learned about not getting into cars with strangers.
Part of it is price & convenience-- it's cheaper than flying, with people charging $30-50 for a ride from SF to LA. It can also be more convenient in some ways, in that they'll typically pick you up and drop you off exactly where you need to go, so there's no hassle of getting to/from the airport.
Another part is rationality-- the majority of the cars on the highway are starting from the same 10-mile radius area in SF and going to the same 10-mile radius area in LA. It strikes me as ridiculous that we all choose to drive our own cars even though we're going the same way 95% of the drive. If only we could coordinate a little, be willing to give each other 30 minutes out of our day-- we could cut the traffic and pollution by a solid 60%.
The last and most important part is community-- in an increasingly insular society, it's important to me to build community with others outside of my regular social circles and to contribute to community trust.
In regards to the second point-- even though crime rates continue to drop over the years, paranoia about safety increases. This hinders the growth and success of society. People feel our projections of them-- our fears and low judgments about others encourages them to live down to those expectations. My sister once accused me of throwing something of hers out-- she called me, and I quote, a "fucking bitch" before she even asked me for confirmation. I hadn't thrown it out, but since I was already a "fucking bitch" in her eyes, I immediately threw it into the garbage (grudges, what grudges?). In a similar vein, when you cross the street to avoid an "undesirable" person, whether because of their race or social status, you encourage them to act in undesirable way-- you've already decided who they are without giving them a chance, so why should they not be that?
In my own small way, I want to create trust with people-- either by giving them my trust that they will safely deliver me to my destination or by rewarding their trust in me by driving them safely to their destination.
In regards to the first point-- as recent social-political events have shown us, we live in echo chambers. We interact with people like ourselves, amplifying our beliefs back at us. Who are the 5-10 people closest to you. What is their education background? Their race? Their economic status? How many of them offer you a significantly different life experience?
I've found that through rideshares, I am given an opportunity to experience others in more significant way-- the drive from SF to LA is a minimum 6 hours after all. I get to understand that these others are not so bad, and to show them that I, as an other, am also not so bad.
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I estimated that I've taken/given at least 20 rideshares-- if I tried really hard, I think I could count them more precisely. I remember most, if not all, the people I've met.
My first rideshare was with a graduate student from UC Berkeley-- he was extremely 'normal' which makes him rather unusual in rideshares. A nice, clean-cut white kid in his late 20's, a graduate student at UC Berkeley.
Then there was the Canadian girl who was into parkour and surfing. She picked me up with a self-proclaimed anarchist. I try not to judge, but to be honest, I shrugged him off as just a kid going through a rebellious phase.
A girl who moonlighted as-- what do I even call it? She helped wealthy businessmen play out their fantasies for money, which included peeing on them (but no defecation-- she was clear about that!), minor S/M work, and child's play-- where she literally treated them like a baby, spoon-feeding them, playing with children's toys, and tucking them into bed.
An Argentinian dancer and her dad-- she told me that if I ever went to Argentina, I had to try pisco sours. And let's be clear, Argentina invented pisco, so if any Chilean tries to tell me otherwise, they're goddamn wrong.
A climber dirtbag. A trio of college-aged goofballs, who provided me with the silliest drive of my life. Another teenaged boy headed to LA for a music festival (the large majority of my rideshares have been male). A former military technician I ended up going on two dates with (I'm the only person I know to have picked up a date from Craigslist...). A dude who once was on the Singaporean national climbing team but now was establishing a startup to produce an intelligent BB8-esque robot.
There was also the guy who had gotten a DUI-- for 3 years after that, he had to have a breathalyzer installed in his car, which would randomly sound off loudly every 10-15 minutes while he was driving, at which point he would have to hold it up to his mouth and exhale deeply, while still driving and steering with the other hand. Call me crazy, but this sounds like a good way to get into an accident.
A dude who immigrated from Taiwan not too long ago and a man who was in the process of finalizing his divorce with a wife who stopped loving him and stopped trying. Another man who tried to mansplain LA to me-- the city I grew up in-- but mostly with incorrect facts (I was rather annoyed, if that wasn't clear). The fucking trio of rude hippies who smelled so offensively bad (this is coming from someone who can spend weeks with unshowered climbers) and spilled an entire large 7/11 cup of soda in the backseat, showing only the most minor hint of remorse.
One of the best was a guy who said if I drove his 1986 pickup truck for him (the thing was older than me!) the whole way, he would pay for the gas. I'd never driven a car so big and so old!
A lady with a dog. Another woman who spoke not a word. As I mentioned, there haven't been many females.
Another man who had spent years in the navy. After 6 years, he quit because he decided it just wasn't for him-- the rampant drinking, the demanded obedience, the unofficial justice through which sailors who committed wrongs where thrown blanket parties-- in the middle of the night, they'd be trapped under the covers by their fellow sailors and beaten.
And there was the older dude who absolutely confused me and I wasn't sure if he was truthful or crazy-- he looked sorta homeless with his unwashed body and long hair, but claimed to sometimes work as a consultant for big tech companies and supposedly owned several properties in addition to a boat.
A man who picked me up with a second guy who seemed like he was on drugs-- he asked us to just drop him off 'anywhere' in LA, and we wondered about the ethical implications of dropping off someone clearly not in their right mind just 'anywhere' in Los Angeles.
The list goes on. There are others I barely remember, and probably more that I've forgotten.
To be honest, I'd say my overall record for rideshares is just pretty good in terms of how much actual fun they are. Some are super great and I click well with the rideshares; some make me wish I had flown. In the end, I'm grateful that I've always come out safe and I'm grateful for the experience and the perspective.
The world is vast, and there's someone out there doing anything you can imagine and infinite things you can't imagine, good or bad. For the most part, it's good.
Despite its hiccups, I believe the world is good.