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Listen, I don't think this is going to work out.

"What do you mean?"

I'm really busy with training and studying and work, and you're a really great guy, but I don't think I really have the time right now to date. 

"No, you mean you don't want to make time to date."

I'm taken aback for a second, but quickly realize he's right.

I don't want to make time to date. 

Which makes breaking up even easier. 

---

Time is something I think about a lot.

What I've done. What I'm doing now. What I plan to do.

I detail everything I do every single day, and have done so since college. It varies year to year how much I write, but for the past five years, I've written at least a paragraph each day.

As a result, I'm acutely aware of how I spend my time.

And as a result, I've developed various particular traits.

I almost never watch TV.

And I'm hypercritical of my movement and change through life.

In previous years, I focused my energy solely on training and studying-- physical and mental growth.

These years, I've been dedicating more energy on community and society, which has been a far bigger and less successful of an endeavor, largely because I don't know what to do and it seems neither does anyone else.  

I'm excited for the next two months as I get really deep into my own mind, figuring things out for the next few years.